Kissing is a gateway drug.

I’ve been thinking a lot about kissing.  What it means to people, what people like, that sort of thing.

I remember my first kiss and how it was absolutely ruined.  Jacob was my biggest crush, and lucky for me he was friends with my brother so we hung out quite a bit.  Well, he finally kissed me and I was ECSTATIC!  I was absolutely in love.  So imagine my surprise when he told me that he felt “obligated” to kiss me.  Huh…obligated?

Is this a big thing with guys?  Kiss a girl just because you feel obligated to?  That’s just retarded.  Ain’t gonna lie, that’s jacked up.

Maybe it’s just me  but I think kissing someone should be reserved as one of the most intimate details of a relationship.  But perhaps some people think of it like this, “I don’t really like this person.  I sure as hell ain’t gonna sleep with them.  Eh, what the hell I guess I gotta kiss em”

It’s moustache season!

Quick ninja edit.  I’ve added links to my myspace and also my twitter.

Yes my dear friends it is that special time of the year again where I waltz and parade about my home while wearing a fake moustache!  I’m not quite sure why or how this tradtion got started but I really enjoy it! 

Aside from Moustachemas, I have a bit of news.  I have a new cat!  Oh god, how pathetic do I sound?  Erase my blog name and change it to A Crazy Cat Lady’s Thoughts!  Pretty soon we’re going to see posts like, “And today Mr. Meowmew came over for a saucer of milk, it was lovely but I think Miss Pretty-paws felt ignored.  Since Mr. Meowmew started seeing Jezebelle (How approps!)  Miss Pretty-paws just hasn’t been the same”  TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR AS THE MOUSE TURNS!

Crikey almighty!  Anyway, I’m not a crazy cat lady.  We went to Pennsylvania because my brother got married, well when we left we only had two cats.  When we came back we had three.  One plus two plus two plus one?  (Probably one of my FAVE quotes from Clue)  Anyway, his name is Jake though I don’t know why.  He just showed up at our house and I’ve been feeding him.  He’s a sweet cat, really! 

I know I had something more to say but I can’t for the life of me remember.  Anyway, enjoy yourselves and be merry! 

 

                          

                             ”A-A-A A MOUSTACHE!”

And all the cowboys say, yeehaw

I’m sorry I have not posted a blog in sometime.  Who am I apologizing to?  All of one person that reads this?  Anyway, Paul I’m sorry I haven’t updated.  

I really don’t have much to say, nothing new has really happened.  Well nothing that I care about mentioning on here.  I am housesitting for my pastor, and I’ve been living in his home for about a week now.  It’s fun!  I take care of their dogs and go to work, and come home, and relax.  It’s fun being on my own.  I know that I would be positively BORED out of my mind if I had to do this any longer.  Not because there isn’t anything to do, it’s just that I’m all alone.  Which is nice, but it gets old after a while.

I got a new ringtone for my phone, it’s Africa by Toto.  Kind of hot, no?  

This really is just a half-hearted attempt at a blog, and I’m sorry.  

OH AND I’ve been looking up games to play.  I love the sims, and whatever, and I really do want to get Apartment life, I don’t know why.  BUT I’ve been looking up some dirty games…yeah.  Like, Leisure Suit Larry and Singles.  Why?  

I think I am going to get Apartment Life.  It just seems right.  Besides…WITCHES!  Nightlife had Vampires which was cool, I think it was Pets that had Werewolves, Seasons had Plant-people, and now Apartment Life is gonna have WITCHES!  I loved The Sims 1’s magic EP with witches and whatnot.  It was the best!  I was on I don’t have a life but my sims do! on facebook and a lot of people are pleased with this EP.  There seems to be more stuff, and more interactions which is clearly the best!  I hope there are more interactions with babies and kids.  So…yeah I think I’m gonna go get that later..yup.  

Ok that’s it for this week.  Tune in next time to hear me sing Bon Jovi drunk!

Unwhole

Unwhole, nonwhole, lack of something, you know what I mean? 

That feeling you get when you know something is missing, you know it’s lost but you can’t regain it back.  Maybe you don’t even want it back, maybe you’re just so used to it being there and one day when it’s gone you realize how awkward everything is without it.  Let’s say that you do want it back, let’s say that it’s the most important thing to you in the whole wide world–your security blanket, your picker-upper, your friend.  How are you going to get it back? 

You could beg and plead and cry, or you could rationally think it through.  What’s to say that it isn’t going to be lost again later?  All it wants is to spread it’s little wings and fly away, but it can’t because you’re too selfish to let it do that.  You want to cup it in your hands tightly and make it stay.  You can’t make everything stay.  One way or another everything is going to end up gone, and lost.

So stop thinking about it, or obsessing over it.  Don’t sit in the bathtub and wonder what it’s doing at this very moment, or wonder if it’s happy that it’s gone, and free from you.  Don’t think about whether it’s thinking about you, and definately refrain from thinking that it’s not.  Because that is what’s going to kill you.

Moths, I think you know what I’m talking about!

As promised, I am now going to talk about Satan’s bug.  That’s right, moths!  I have an unusual fear of moths, I don’t know where it stemmed from but it’s there.  The correct term would be Mottephobia–Fear of Moths.  The thing is, I am totally fine with butterflies, they don’t bother me.  Butterflies just seem to float around gently going from one flower to another, and occasionally land on you.  Moths on the other hand, they will get all up in your face, they fly as if they are consistently drunk, plus their fat little bodies make the GROSSEST noise when they thump against alight bulb!  Gross me out!  Either way, I hate them.

So a few days ago I was at work, and I was actually in a good mood!  Of course that came tumbling down real quick after I tried making small talk with a woman in my line.  And maybe I’m in the wrong here, but I felt that she really went off on nothing.  So like I said, I’m ringing this lady up, and I give her the total, she pulls out her checkbook and when she does I have a clear view of her purse and I commented with “Wow!  There is like nothing in your purse!”  Because if you took a peek at my purse you would find it busting at the seams there is so much shit in it!  The lady responds with, “What are you doing looking in my purse?!”  I was startled because it was such a hateful tone so I just said, “I just happened to have noticed.”  Well this lady is getting her money together and when she hands it to me she says “It normally is quite full but some people can’t keep their hands out of!  I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!”  I didn’t say anything because I really had no idea what she was talking about and I was just kind of shocked that she was getting so pissy over me just trying to make small talk, and how accusatory she was of me.  Whatever.  I ain’t hatin!  I just kind of laughed with the lady behind her, “Your total is $3.21 I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!”  and I decided I really didn’t care if she called and complained about me.  Because really, I’m at that point where I just don’t.  A lot of people don’t understand my sense of humor and honestly I feel bad for them.  It must suck to be a dried up old stick in the mud!  LAUGH DAMN YOU LAUGH!

Two Kittens and a Robot.

I saw Wall-E tonight but we’ll get into that in a minute!

Sooo, we got kittens on Thursday.  They’re names are Gladys (after my grandmother) and Alice.  I think Julie just wanted to name them something that rhymed and since Dad and I unanimously vetoed Spunky and Monkey, the other one got the name Alice. 
A picture of the kitties.

I’m not really a cat person, I’m more partial to dogs but I’ll be damned if these aren’t the cutest cats in existence.  As a kid I really loved cats and I mean I LOVED cats.  I would constantly run after them trying to pet them, and of course, scare them off.  Cats are private animals, they don’t like to be pursued and I think that’s why I prefer dogs.  I need someone to love me back and cats don’t just go about throwing their love away all willy nilly!  Silly cats.  Willy.  Nilly.  Silly.  Weird.

 

Now on to Wall-E! 

Seriously how cute is this little guy!?

I can really understand how some people are calling this movie a masterpiece.  It’s cute, and it’s funny, and it makes you think.  All that and the main characters don’t even talk!  There are some people out there who are outraged at the moral of this story which is–you know–saving the planet.  Ok not actually saving the planet but preventing it’s destruction and enivitable collapse.  To summarize the plot without giving out spoilers: A large company called BuyNLarge has massproduced a bunch of crap, so much crap that there isn’t room to throw it away.  So the earth has become a giant landfill.  The people of earth left to go to a place in space so that these robots called Wall-E’s can clean up the trash.  Once they do that they can come back to earth.  There was just so much trash and the Wall-E’s died.  Anyhoo, my point is that this could happen if we’re not careful.  I mean not exactly like this but we’re pretty much trashing the earth with our mass consumption. 

I admit it, I don’t do what I need to.  I don’t recycle, and I throw cigarette butts out of the car, and I drive too much.  I want to change the way I live.  I want the earth to be a healthy place for my children to grow up in, and I want to appreciate what I have. 

I know this all sounds stupid and whatever.  That’s how it goes, and that’s just my thoughts on that.

We’re harboring fugitives!

Not really.  Apparently we got a giant trash can to put trash in, Paul would call it an “Oscar”, but ’round in these here parts we jess call it a trash can.  Well, we haven’t put any trash in it yet and it’s been outside for a few days–filled with water.  It rained a lot the last few days it’s been out there and it filled up.  I noticed that we were in fact harboring MOSQUITO LARVAE!  HOW RIDIC?!  I was all like, we need to dump the water out, that thing is a breeding ground for mosquitoes!  And so we did.  Not a special post I know but hey, it’s 1:30 in the morning what do you expect from me?  Comedy?  

My birthday is officially in 15 days!  In 15 days I will be…TWENTY-ONE!  It’s odd because I was never excited about turning TWENTY-ONE until recently, the closer it is, the more excited I am about it.  It could possibly be that fact that I’m excited about my imminent alcoholism.  Oh I’m just kidding, I have better things to use as an emotional crutch! 

Anyway that’s all for now, but I will be reminding you of my birthday every post until my birthday, and then I will dedicate an entire post TO my birthday…so ya know that’s, you know, coming along.  Tune in next time for I shall speak of the devil’s bug…Moths.

Who has time to sleep?

I certainly don’t! I’m all hopped up on espresso from Starbucks, I know right? Paul went to bed well over an hour ago and I’ve just kind of been messing around online. Okay so I’ve really been messing around with the “Web-cam-stop-motion-thing”. I can’t help it…it’s fun! That and I’ve learned to say “Bitch Please” in American sign language. So I brought the two together to (what an alliteration!) show you this!

Pretty sweet, eh? Anyway, I’m possibly thinking of making Paul a video but I don’t know because A) I’d have to go outside with my camera since my mic isn’t connected to my computer and B) I really don’t know what to say lol.

Here are just a few things I’ve seen on the “Web-cam-stop-motion-thing”

1) Dogs, I love dogs!
2) Really ugly people..girls actually really ugly girls
3) People are constantly moving their mouths around and/or eating the camera
4) Boobies
5) Signs, people write signs that disappear SO fast that only superman himself would have fly around the earth backward in a leotard to slow it down in order for it to be legible.
6) Hats…people love their hats
7) Things moving/disappearing/dissipating
Glasses

And that’s about it. Yuppo

S’all I’m saying. I’ll tag this crap a little later..my butt hurts and I’m tired at the moment! PEACE!

I was hugged and I feel violated

So, dad and Julie come home from Louisville today, and along with getting things out of my mammaw’s house(she’s in a nursing home now) they bought a new car. We’re taking a ride in the new car and dad stops by a gas station and tells me to run in and get some ice cream. And this is where it all gets…creepy

I look around but they don’t have the ice cream we want, a guy comes in and says Hi, and I say hi back because I’ve seen him come into the store a few times. He asks me if they are still selling ice cream (They have a built in ice cream thingy) And I say I don’t know. So he hugs me, and then with his arm still around me starts walking me to the register saying “We’ll ask together”. So we get to the counter and I ask the lady if the ice cream thing is opened, and while she’s answering me this guy hugs me AGAIN! It’s not like a nice friendly hug, it’s like a tight, never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down kind of hug. While he’s hugging me he says “You don’t know what you mean to me”. So I’m all like heh…ok. Well the lady is like telling us that they are closed and asking what we want, and if we want them to open and I said, no I just wanted the drumsticks and after I got out of this guys deathgrip I ran back to the safety of my daddy and told him to DRIVE!!!!!

I told him what happened and dad saw the guy come out and got his license plate number, the guy drove off and dad said he must be behind the building because he didn’t see him come out from around. So we went around the building because dad wanted to “have words” with him. We ended up not finding him and I’m glad. I was a little shocked and pissed at myself for not doing anything. I had that dumb girl reaction, “I don’t want to hurt his feelings so I’ll just let him hug me”. GAH! I’m STUPID!

_Allecto_ shut up!

Whine, whine, whine! As a woman, I’m all for having equal rights but for the love of Pete just shut up!

I recently discovered a person’s blog who makes me feel so volatile. This person is a lesbian feminist, ok that’s cool, whatevs, right? TOTALLY WRONG! She’s completely paranoid! I get upset when I go to websites like somethingawful.com or break.com because they judge women by their looks. I don’t, however, immerse myself into a television show and pick apart the creator for allegedly being a misogynist.

This lady has beef with Joss Whedon because she claims that the television show “Firefly” basically gives the impression of female dominance, or powerful women, but really just slaps them in the face like they took too long makin dinner. As a woman I find this to be untrue on many levels. This is one of my favorite shows, and Joss Whedon is an excellent writer and producer.

One of her tirades includes the number of times a female talks as opposed to the number of times a male talks. Boo Hoo women aren’t speaking as much as the men! 1) Actions speak louder than words and 2) Quality, not quantity. It doesn’t matter, and it shouldn’t matter. Discussing the amount of times which gender talks is insane, especially for a pilot episode.

Rape?! Are you serious? There isn’t any point in any episode in which rape is happening. Do you know what rape is? “..sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against the will usually of a female or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent”. That’s right go on some ridiculous rant about how prostitution is rape. Inara is a glorified prostitute, she knows what she’s doing and she chooses to do it. I suppose a woman who is promiscuous isn’t a slut, it’s just sexual liberation?

“I am really quite shocked by how readily Joss is accepted as a feminist, and that his works are widely considered to be feminist.” A quote from your rant, and congratulations, you just called women stupid. No, you didn’t outright say it (much like a lot of what you say of Firefly, huh?) but the undertones of that sentence just say it all, “WOMEN ARE STUPID FOR BELIEVING THIS”. Anyone can take something and twist it anyway they want to. And that is exactly what is being done in your rant, and not just about Joss Whedon, but about everything. Why not go bash Tyra Banks for being black and subjecting women to the horrible torture of being criticized on how they look.